PUB Tales: Part XVII

[Aurora]

In the beginning, there was the Future of the World, then there was...
PUB Tales
Part XVII: A Wind Named Amnesia

On the table in front of Aurora sit countless objects unidentifiable to the untrained eye. One seems to be a scale, but has one of its sides nailed down. Another seems to be a small clock, but has no hands, nor numbers, but a blank face that occasionally makes a ticking sound. Aurora is ignoring most of these bizarre, gadgets, however, and is intently focused on the single crystal in front of him, which he prods with long, thin, rods.

Sitting calmly a few feet away is a woman who stares curiously but uncomprehendingly at her fellow’s work. Her legs are folded underneath her, on top of a cushion that has been manually added to an already soft chair. She looks as though she has been sitting in the chair for countless hours and expects never to get up again, but somewhere in her face is a faint and inexplicable sense of worry.

Eventually, Aurora puts down his instruments, and turns toward the woman.

AURORA: Alright, let’s give it a try.

The woman nods as though she understands what he means and holds out her hands. When Aurora takes the crystal and places it in her open palms it floats slightly above them and begins emitting an intricate pattern of light. The expression on the woman’s face slowly transforms into wonderment, and then confusion, and slowly into realization.

AURORA: EK?

EK: I…

AURORA: EK, do you know who I am? *takes the crystal back*

EK: Yes…you’re the one person I shouldn’t forget, aren’t you? *awkward smile* Excepting myself, I suppose.

AURORA: Well then I suppose you’re guilty on both counts, huh?

The forced smile on Aurora’s face gives way to a rush of indiscriminate emotion and he falls into EK’s arms, crying.

EK: It’s ok, now…I remember…shhh…


…


CAPPY: You’re a lucky fucker, you know that?

FORCE: Why’s that?

CAPPY: Your fantastically bizarre way of surviving makes it virtually impossible for you to forget things.

FORCE: You mean, it’s easy for me to refresh my memory.

Force smiles, and his left eye turns its red gaze onto Cappy.

CAPPY: Dude, I’ve told you before, that’s just creepy. I know you don’t quite have to move your organic and cybernetic eyes at the same time, but you almost have to, so I’m making a fucking ruling on this right now: you move them at the same time.

FORCE: And who the hell put you in charge?

CAPHAT: Yargh, matey, I made Cappy da Capn’ o’ dis’ ship!

FORCE: Oh, right….I forgot…

CAPPY: Why do I get the sense that you’re disrespecting the authority of my intelligent pirate hat?

FORCE: I have no idea what would give you the idea that I’m disrespecting the authority of your intelligent pirate hat.

CAPPY: …besides, it’s not like anyone else here is fit to be in command.


…Meanwhile, in the jungles of Malash 5


SOUL: There’s no telling what could happen out here, so stay focused.

MAGNUM: Dude, focus is my middle and last name.

SOUL: There he is!

From the other side of the bushes, the great tribal king Kylixen could be seen addressing his army of amnesiacs.

KYLIXEN: …and so, from this day forth, I expect you all to do your best performing the rituals. You don’t need to remember them, just stand where your name is and repeat whatever’s written on the ground. Everyone who maintains quota will be rewarded every thirty minutes with a chocolate bar. Remember, the more you repeat these words without stopping the think about what they mean, the more man-eating golems will be in my army, and that’s a good thing.

DENIZENS: HAIL, KYLIXEN!

SOUL: Keep it steady…

Magnum pulls out a gun-shaped device and points it directly at Kylixen’s head. He nods to Soul, who begins speaking into a mic.

SOUL: Kylixen, can you hear me?

KYLIXEN: Who’s there?

SOUL: This is Soul. We used to know each other a long time ago…

KYLIXEN: Right, another person I supposedly knew back when….I’m not going to believe a line like that very easily. I’m an important person now, so it’s no wonder you all keep trying to convince me…

SOUL: Kylixen, I’m not interested in getting in on your crazy tribal scheme. I’m trying to get you to see reason and come with us to see the doctors on Station 6. They can help…

KYLIXEN: I know all about those doctors….they also create false memories based on the recorded events of your past, don’t they? And anyway, why would I agree to go with someone out of the safety of my own camp here?

SOUL: They’re professionals, Kylixen, they can give you your old life back…

KYLIXEN: I don’t want my old life back! Can’t you see? I’m an important person right now…why would I give that up to become someone I don’t know anymore?

SOUL: …you used to be an important person, as well. They won’t remove your recent memories – after the operation you can come back and become tribal lord again if you want to…in any case, as to your security, I wouldn’t overestimate your position, Kylixen.

KYLIXEN: And if I were you, I wouldn’t underestimate it…

Kylixen turns and stares directly at the location Soul and Magnum are hiding at. Two large men with spears move forward and prepare to throw them into the brush.

MAGNUM: Dammit, how did he spot us?

SOUL: I don’t know, but we may have to fall back for now, we don’t know what those-

One of the spears turns into a bolt of lightning as soon as it leaves the thrower’s hand, and strikes Soul.

MAGNUM: Soul!

Magnum grabs Soul and withdraws as the second spear impacts their previous hiding spot and explodes in a fireball.


…


Ron rests his forehead in his right hand as he waits for the room to quiet down. Most of the others seated at the wide table with him are engaged in a pandemonius argument, but others, like him, simply wait for the situation to calm down before participating.

ATHENA: I will not tolerate continued insinuations that fault lies with the Olympians!

ISH: I’m not trying to push blame onto the Olympians, but it’s clear that you’ve had more involvement in transdimensional affairs than the people of any other dimension, so it…

BLACK: You’re not exactly one to keep to yourself, oh squishy one.

ISH: This is exactly what I’m talking about, blatant racism against people with gelatinous bodies is exactly the kind of thing that’s keeping us from being able to make any progress at these talks!

ZEUS: Enough! Black, try to refrain from provoking our flan friend, and Ish…

ISH: I prefer to be called Benethractinus the Wise…

ZEUS: Whatever I call you, it doesn’t change what I’m about to say. We’re perfectly willing to give you access to Olympia for research purposes, but we cannot let you investigate the personal history of each and every Olympian. Until you show reason for looking into some specific information, you’ll need to stick to the things you currently have access to.

ISH: Well, that doesn’t do us much good! The properties of ether are fascinating, but all we’ve been able to figure out thus far is how to widen interdimensional rifts, not how to repair them.

RON: Then perhaps we shouldn’t be investing so much into your research, Benethractinus.

ISH: But what else…

RON: There’s always Santosh…

The noise level in the room rises to a cacophonous roar at the name, and several minutes pass before anyone is able to interject another intelligible remark.

REBIRTH: I know you and some of the others claim to have seen Santosh, but given the fallibility of memory recently, I don’t think that’s…

RON: I assure you, Rebirth, if it happened on Thursday, I’ll remember it. I’m not subject to the same laws that you are.

REBIRTH: No one is, thank God.

BLACK: Either way, no one’s seen Santosh since the Battle of the Sol Helix. He was probably simply destroyed.

RON: I doubt it.

ZEUS: I doubted any of this could happen, but given the situation, we need to be following more than one lead at a time. If Santosh can be found, he may be able to help us close some of the rifts. I propose that Ron of Thursday be given official approval by the council to embark on a search for the Great Horse and that the venture be appropriate staffed and supplied….all in favor…and against? Very well.

MATYBURGER: So I guess we’re going to have something to do for a change.

COSMIC: Yes, I hope they have lots of cheeses for this quest!

KENSHIN: I’m sure it’ll be first thing on our list of “supplies,” Cos…

RON: Come on guys, it’s time to kick ass and chew gum…and I’m all out of gum.

*Commence The Real PUB Blues*

Directed by: Aurora
Written by: Aurora
Score by: Aurora
Based on an idea by: A Vision
Special Effects courtesy of: PUB Effects
Produced by: Aurora Inc.

Cast:

Aurora – Aurora
Force – Force
Cappy – The Captain
Maty – Matyburger
Magnum – Magnum
Soul – Soul
Kylixen – Kylixen
Rebirth – Rebirth of Dragon
Cosmic – Cosmic Rift
Kenshin – xkenshinx
EK – Ekblack
Black – BLaCK
Athena – Wonder Woman
Ish – Benethractinus the Wise, Cerebremancer of Translocational Excellence
Zeus – Sean Connery
Extras – The New Zealand Army

Copyright 2008 by Aurora Inc. All Rights Reserved.

NEXT TIME ON PUB TALES:

Alright, so after a long hiatus, PUB Tales is back, but the chapters are shorter and not quite as silly as we might be used to. Who knows when another part will be written, but when it is, there is a certain percentage chance that Aurora will have to make the ultimate sacrifice, so keep your eyes and brains peeled, and stay tuned into the mothership for the next exciting episode of….PUB TALES!

SEE YOU SPACE-TIME COWBOY…

[bluefairy]

LOL Genius

[Aurora]

It's been a while, and this episode only arose out of random inspiration, but I may write a couple more. If so, bluefairy may make an appearance...

[The Captain]

Awesome! Well done! And much love for inserting various popular phrases of our times...

[bluefairy]

It's been a while, and this episode only arose out of random inspiration, but I may write a couple more. If so, bluefairy may make an appearance...

LOL it's entertaining either way

[xkenshinx]

Funny, but Zues had more freaking lines than me. *tear*

[RebirthofDragon]

How come I never get more than two lines? And why am I NOT the dashing and misunderstood outlaw who wants to avenge his family, which suffered a most cliche death at the hands of an evil being who had once slaughtered races across the galaxy but has since disappeared into the shadows?

[Aurora]

How come I never get more than two lines? And why am I NOT the dashing and misunderstood outlaw who wants to avenge his family, which suffered a most cliche death at the hands of an evil being who had once slaughtered races across the galaxy but has since disappeared into the shadows?

Well, I hadn't really firmed up your characters background and motivations, so....if you insist...

[Cosmic Rift]

All thine cheeses dost requireth Cosmic's possession.

[Nayoko]

Great as usual. Fairly surprised to see Kylixen in there, lol.